


Do You Feel Like a Young God?

by dreaminq



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Delusions, F/F, F/M, Ill add more as time goes on, M/M, Schizophrenia, also rich is a pining little shit, michael is dead on the inside
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2019-01-09 09:46:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12273900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreaminq/pseuds/dreaminq
Summary: Everything felt fine, junior year was going as it should have. Playing games with your best friend, getting bullied every once in a while, being losers together...Then Rich got a Squip. Jeremy got a Squip. And Michael? He started suffering.What do you do when everything in your life goes awry? Do you try to fix it? Do you just sit in your basement and cry about it all day?What about afterwards? How do you try to fix something like THAT? It's hard. Much harder than anyone could imagine.[Short summary cause I can't write summaries for shit HAH]





	Do You Feel Like a Young God?

Micha gazed at the girl ahead of her. Her face was flushed and soft, though pale as a sheep’s wool. The kid certainly looked nervous, but she appeared that way every day! Of course, Micha would definitely know this, considering she’d had her eyes on the kid since the first day of kindergarten.

No, she’d never approached the other girl, mainly because she was just so nervous herself! What if she didn’t like her, or thought she was weird? She had a pet tarantula in her hands right now—That’s pretty weird! Then again, it was show and tell day. So… Other kids had weird things as well. Probably not as weird as Peter Parker, though.

The girl was showing off her lamb stuffed animal in front of the class, saying how it was a gift from her mom before she left her and her dad. Being at the front of the class, the girl got a front row seat to the other’s presentation. Micha couldn’t help herself from letting her eyes go lidded as she smiled at her words. The soft and anxious voice was just pleasant to listen to, even if there was a slight crack in it every once in awhile. Smiling, Micha let her head fall into her hand, which was currently on the desk, holding herself up like a sturdy, marble column.

As the kid was finishing up her presentation, Micha hadn’t realized that Peter Parker, her mexican redknee tarantula, was shifting on her arm. She continued looking at the girl with a relaxed expression, then jolted when she heard a shriek sound to her right. Upon turning her head to face the noise, she saw a boy gesticulating violently at the floor in front of Micha’s desk. Furrowing her brows, the kid sat confused for a moment before realizing that there was no weight on her arm. Peter Parker was gone.

Micha slammed her hands down onto her desk, springing up out of her seat as she did so. She scanned the floor in front of her, attempting to locate the spider in the midst of screaming and chaos. Upon spotting Peter, Micha felt her heart sink, noticing that he was crawling right up to the girl presenting.

Without any hesitation, the girl ran up to the other, eyes glued to the spider that was crawling onto her foot. With a confused look, the other girl slowly looked down and screamed. Like jesus christ, chill out dude, it’s just a tarantula. Even though Micha was used to having spiders and bugs and all sorts of animals around, she had to remind herself that some people were not… accustomed to having those sorts of things crawling around freely.

Quickly grabbing Peter Parker in both of her hands, Micha let out a sigh of relief, both happy that the tarantula was no longer on the loose and also about the fact that there was no longer any screaming. After a few moments of quietness, the girl slowly looked up and at the other whom she had just ‘saved’ from the tarantula. The girl was a bit taller than her actually, maybe about three or four inches taller… Huh. Micha had… never been this close to her before, actually. She could already feel a blush creeping onto her skin as she looked at the other. As soon as they both made eye contact, Micha averted her eyes and stammered, “I-I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to let him go, he-he wasn’t supposed to—I am so-so-so sorry!”

Instead of an irritated or angered response like what she had been expecting, the girl said quietly, “N-no, it’s fine! I promise! He—just.. Scared me is all…” Yeah, she was definitely much paler than before. Was that even possible? Micha was about to respond to her when their teacher cut her thoughts off with, “Well, seeing as Jamie is done with her presentation, and you’re already up there, why don’t you show us what you brought for Show and Tell?”

Micha grimaced a bit, realizing that she was in fact, now in the spotlight. She gazed back up at the other girl, Jamie, and felt that her blush still remained. Wow, her smile is… Really nice. It’s like, soft and cute and… Just, really nice… Micha couldn’t help but feel herself get lost in the other... “Michael? Michael! MICHAEL!”

A frustrated face was looking down on Michael as he stiffened suddenly, forced out of his daydreaming. Mr. Wilkes, his world history teacher, was commanding him to do something, but he was so lost in thought that he had absolutely no clue what it was… Then he looked down at his desk. A stack of papers. Oh! Oh—Oh, he was supposed to pass those back—“Mr. Mell, could you please stop staring lovingly at your boyfriend and pass those worksheets back instead?” Mr. Wilkes asked politely, a bit of irritation still in his tone however.

At the mention of what he was doing and—Jeremy being called his boyfriend—Michael blushed furiously and sank into his seat, stammering to the teacher, “He-He’s not my b-boyfriend! There’s n-nothing going on between us!” He received a half-hearted nod from the adult, the other obviously not believing what he was saying.

With a quick glance at Jeremy, it was obvious to tell that the other was also… Flushing profusely. Fuck. Well now he just felt guilty… The class’s attention was on him and Jeremy now and—of course—was laughing. Lowering his head a bit, Michael looked at the others in the class, trying to make out what stupid gestures of mocking they were attempting. Brooke and Chloe were making heart signs and kissy faces, while giggling about how cute they’d be together. Aaand how they’d be a good gossip source too—thanks Jenna.

There was a sudden, sharp, “HAH! THE TWO GAYS ARE GAY!” from the back of the class, which caused Michael to spin around and face the perpetrator. Of course it was the red streaked wonder— Rich. He always made jokes about how they were boyfriends and how they were so gay for each other… But, well, Michael was gay, so that’s a thing. Jeremy, on the other hand? He’s completely straight! Like, he has never shown any signs of liking other boys, it’s always Christine this, Christine that, and—

“Yo fag, thinking about your boyfriend again?” Laughed Dustin, which was actually cut off by Rich elbowing him and saying, “Hey, don’t say that shit. It’s fucking rude.” This caused the other to throw his hands up in surrender, letting out a sigh and turning back to the front of the class. Michael did the same, a disgruntled look on his face as he did so.

He passed back those papers finally and stared downwards for a moment. Why had he been thinking about the first time they met? Is… Something big gonna happen? Some big change? What if it was strong enough to change his and Jeremy’s friendship? Psh. Nah. That couldn’t happen. That’s insane! Then again…

Peering over at Jeremy—more stealthily this time around—he couldn’t help but feel some sort of dread. He’d been feeling it for a while, but… Whatever. Now’s not the time to think about that. Now’s the time for… Looks like, pre-humans! And… Stuff. Maybe some Egyptians. It’s confusing because there’s both pre-humans and egyptians on the smartboard.

Oh well.

—

School wasn’t necessarily… Boring or annoying, moreso just… Frustrating. Especially when you’re considered one of the loser kids. One of the antisocial loser kids who’s gay and trans. Oh! Don’t forget not white, too! Yeah, it sometimes really fuckin sucks to have the whole pack.

Though, the only—and best!—thing hd could rely on was always there for him. Through thick and thin, PC and console wars, small feuds over if the winner cheated during the game—Jeremy was always there with him. Take for instance right now.

Michael glanced at the boy in the other beanbag, who was furrowing his brows and focusing intensely on Mario Kart. With one quick look at the TV screen in front of them, the teen released a red shell to the first place racer, causing them to get knocked into second place right as he passed them and the finish line. Jeremy’s mouth was slightly agape as he stared at the screen with a look of pure shock. Then without hesitation, he chucked the Wii remote at Michael, who was howling in laughter. It may have kinda hurt his arm, but holy shit, his expression was priceless.

“You fucking asshole! I almost had that, dude! What the fuck?!” Jeremy yelled angrily, throwing his hands up in the air as he watched his ‘asshole’ friend. It took a few moments of regaining his breath before Michael replied, tears in his eyes, “Could say you—you really got— shellshocked—!”

The other teen looked only more pissed off at this remark, and he let out an exasperated groan and said, “That wasn’t even funny!”  
“I know, but at least it made you more pissed!”  
“AAAGGH!”

With that shout, Jeremy lunged over at Michael, throwing himself at the other. They both got pushed into Michael’s beanbag while said teen was still laughing as Jeremy gave him small, light slaps on his arm. It was obvious he had no clue how to let his frustration out AND be gentle about it. See, with only a light shove, Michael already had Jeremy off of him. Simple as that.

The teen groaned as he picked himself off the floor, now looking at the TV again. Psh… He was in 4th place for the final results, while Michael was in 1st place. As per usual. Finishing up his laughter with a few snorts, the teen leaned back against the beanbag and brought his arms behind his head, holding it up as he smirked. This was the reason he was always player one—because he was just so superior at games! Like, put him in a Smash Bros competition, and he’ll literally demolish the opponents. Hah! It was pretty great to be so good at games. Really gives you at least something to feel good about, when it comes to yourself.

After a roll of his eyes, Jeremy sighed and leaned back, falling back to let him lay on his bed. Today, they were hanging out at his house rather than Michael’s for once. Well, it was mainly because the teen with the actual car didn’t feel like driving any further—further being his house. So he’ll just crash here for the night, figuring it’s usually not a big deal when he does. Then the teen furrowed his brows. His mom wasn’t home and… HIS CAT!

“Oh shit! Jere, I gotta go! Meowijuana is home alone!” He yelped, setting his controller down and scrambling up, grabbing his phone out of his pocket as he checked the time. Jeremy gasped in mock surprise, saying, “Not the weedcat!”

Michael looked back at him seriously and exclaimed, “Yes, the weedcat!” Holding back a snicker, the other teen said, “Okay, okay, get going then! And-- Wait, what’s that?” He was pointing at a slip of paper on the floor. Picking it up, he read it off. “Call me, in all caps, and… Numbers. Who gave you their number?” Curious now, he handed the paper back up to Michael.

Said teen shrugged, grabbing the paper and looking at it. “I-I’m not sure. It was just in my locker… I was gonna call them later, but uh… Huh. Well, I’ll call them when I get home. Thanks for letting me chill here a while, Jerm!” Jeremy waved at him lightly as he grabbed his backpack and slung it over his shoulder, walking out of the dude’s room.

As he made his way down the stairs and into the living room, he spotted Jeremy’s dad on the couch, eating cereal, watching TV, and… pantsless. “Hey, Mr. Heere,” He greeted politely, waving as he did so. The other gave him a thumbs up and said, “Have a nice night now, son.” With that, Michael stepped outside, taking a deep breath.

Pretty nice night, honestly—Streetlamps glowed yellow and lit up the street as Michael approached his car. The stars above were… Lacking, but that was fairly normal. Neighborhood seemed to be practically asleep as well. Made sense though, for being about 8:40 PM. With a sigh, he unlocked his car doors and stepped in. Time for a… Hopefully peaceful ride home. Oh! Can’t forget to turn on his sweet jams. In a swift motion, Michael pulled out his phone and slid up on the bottom. With another quick swipe and tap, he turned on the music. Ooo, some nice, smooth jazz from Tony Levin. Nice.

Michael grinned to himself as he started up the PT Cruiser and backed out of Jeremy’s driveway.

—

Once he arrived home, Michael entered his house and threw his backpack next to his couch in the living room. With a quick glance around, he spied Meowijuana, his black cat, laying on the armrest of the couch. She appeared to be sleeping peacefully… Hopefully she didn’t get herself into anything she shouldn’t have.

With a sigh, Michael turned and fell onto the couch, sinking into it as he did so. After a few moments of silence, he pulled out the slip of paper he found in his locker earlier. The real question was, who was it from? Like, there were zero people who’d want to give him their number if they hadn’t already. Might as well just… Call and find out.

With a few quick, albeit hesitant taps, Michael dialed the number and put the phone up to his ear. It started ringing.. And ringing… And—Oh. There we go.

“Hello? This is uh, Michael—I was given a number in my locker and was told to—” He was cut off by a sudden, “Hey, um. I'm. Gay.” Then silence. Was… Was that—Was that Rich? That couldn’t possibly be…

“Hye—Uyh—R-Rich? Wha—t?” Michael stammered out, almost forgetting to finish up his ‘what.’ Honestly though, he was… Very shocked. “You—” Aaaand he hung up. Great. Furrowing his brows, the teen went to text him. ‘????’ Perfect.

Not a minute later, ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA’

Okay. ‘r u like. okay??? :?’

‘IM GAY’

‘uhhhhhhh eeeh?? im so lost’  
‘is this you like coming out to me’  
‘or what’  
‘??’

‘IM. GAY.’  
‘FOR YOU.’

Oh. Oh. Woah. What? Michael felt his face start heating up. R-Rich? Is—Has a crush on him?

‘o oh. oh. oh. o h.’  
‘oh um. wow’  
‘wow? thanks i?’  
‘wowie…’

Michael just had a goddamn revelation. Holy shit. He set down his phone, ignoring a recent text from Jeremy and leaned back in the couch to get his thoughts together. Did he return any feelings? What had he seen before, what—

Oooh wait. He recounted previous years and these past few months. Rich always seemed… To want to be close to him, even if he was sort of a bully, and the way he’d avert his eyes if Michael caught him looking at him and—Wow.

Two weeks ago, after gym class, in the locker room… The kids had been exiting the area, and Michael had just finished getting his pack ready when he was slammed up against the lockers by Rich. He’d been bullied like this before, so when he raised a fist and snarled, “Hey, loser,” Michael was prepared for the blow. However, once all the kids left, and it was just him and Rich alone… Uh.

Rich ended up lowering his fist and pressed his body against Michael, facing upwards as he promptly smashed his lips onto the other. He jolted in shock as it happened, but… Well, being him, he didn’t back down. This turned into a… A pretty hot makeout. It ended up with Rich pulling away roughly and blushing like a fucking rose while sweating; Like goddamn, he was red. The teen looked so… Cute? Hot? Amazing? Like, Michael couldn’t even think straight at that point—He just stared at the other, panting and sweating as he stood against the lockers, slowly sliding down and sitting on the floor. Fuck, dude. Fuck.

Then he ran—Rich did. He didn’t say anything, but just left. That was… An experience. Holy shit. Even thinking about it now made Michael start heating up, and jesus christ—He was definitely returning those feelings on some level. He just… Needed to think about it some more. Also maybe get some rest. It was 9:20 now, and even though it was so early, he just needed some downtime. Hey! Instead of sleeping, he could play a game!

The teen got up from his spot on the couch, grabbing his phone as he did so. He had received three texts from Jeremy.

‘u call ur special person yet?’  
‘wonder who it is :0’  
‘michael??’

Smiling lightly, Michael replied with:

‘yeah, just called. this might seem… outlandish? but it’s rich.’  
‘he’s got feelings for me.’

‘woah, that’s. woah’

‘yeah, but tbh? i see it’

‘christ dude…..’

‘same, honestly’  
‘tell you about it more tomorrow, gonna get some downtime gaming in now’

‘okay, dude! have fun!’

Welp, on that note, Michael made his way upstairs. His house was two stories plus a basement, like Jeremy’s. Except… The basement at his house was his dad’s ‘mancave.’ Kinda weird but… Whatever. As long as he doesn’t question too much, it’s fine. Anyways, yeah, Michael has two rooms basically—downstairs is his bedroom and upstairs was his personal room. Personal as in… That’s where he’ll play games for real in. Like, when he streams or makes a video. That’s the room he does it in.

As he made his way to the door of his personal room, he let out a snort as he observed the signs on it. There was a Legend of Zelda poster, a Kirby one, and of course, a Heathers one. Plus a sign on it that says, “Death approaches uwu” in creepy, thriller letters—Where they’re like, scrawled on the sign in blood and there’s a dripping effect… It’s so fucking stupid and he loves it.

Michael entered the room and sat down on the giant snorlax beanbag that laid in front of the widescreen TV in the room. In a few moments, he concluded that his wind-down game would be Breath of the Wild. He hadn’t finished the game yet, so… Why not get a little closer to that goal? For real though, Michael had ALMOST stolen his Switch, then thought better of it. Anyways, the teen turned on his TV and Switch, leaning back in the beanbag as he waited.

As he waited, Michael decided that it’d be a good idea to turn on his phone alarms. Just in case he ended up falling asleep there… Which was what, in fact, happened. It didn’t usually happen, but thinking back on the day before passing out made Michael smile. Maybe things could be okay. Maybe…

 

Word count: 3152

**Author's Note:**

> hOGh okay so I like, had this idea a while ago but only started to write it like, last week?? So uh YEAH, I think it's turning out pretty well.... Uhhh yEAH so thanks for reading and shit, and I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> This story will also be on Fanfiction.net, so if you see it there, that's chill
> 
> Please, leave a comment! I love reading what you guys think about the story, and it definitely gives me motivation to continue! Just... Tell me what you think, dudes! Have a great day!


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